Resolutely

As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. — Luke 9:51

Last Saturday I FREAKED OUT, which is completely not like me. I had just gotten back from Singapore, was extremely jet lagged, and was realizing that my time left in the United States was dwindling down to only a few weeks. All at once, a million doubts and uncertainties flooded my mind and I was left... overwhelmed.

It's not that I was doubting my decision to go back to Honduras, it was that I was realizing more and more that the Honduras I was going back to would be a different place. For those of you who follow the news closely you know that a change of power occurred in my absence and the political situation in Honduras is very unstable. Call it a coup or a "constitutional relieving of power" or whatever you want, but the reality is that the interim government of Honduras finds itself opposed by every single member of the United Nations.... EVERY SINGLE ONE. And with that opposition comes a huge loss of development aide which the country greatly depends upon.

Now honestly, the change of power will not affect my living situation directly. I imagine my life will be quite the same as when I left in June. There are no increased dangers to my life and I feel very safe about going back. But the effects of the fragile situation run deeper than just my physical safety. The instability has caused some staff members at IST to reconsider coming back for the coming school year. An already transient school is going to have even more of a different look come August, and I'm anticipating what the consequences of that might be. I know that the departure of several key staff members at the school will leave a void that will be largely difficult to fill and a void that many will expect to be filled, at least in part, by me.

And so last Saturday it was all a bit overwhelming. I knew that the situation that I will be walking into in August will be one that demands more than I have to give. And so for the first time I rethought my decision to go back...

But it was in that moment that God gave me a verse, Luke 9:51. "As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem." In this verse Jesus knows what He has been called to do and he sets out RESOLUTELY to do it. Now the thing is that this is probably not what Jesus really wants to do. Jesus could have gone somewhere where the people would have appreciated him more or where He could have performed more healing for people who really needed it. But He knows that His purpose is to go into Jerusalem... the very city that would kill Him a week later. Yet He set out... resolutely

I've been thinking a lot about what that means. I'm not trying to say that my situation is quite the same, but I think I can learn a lot from Jesus' example. I have a task before me that I know is going to be difficult, in fact, it is too difficult for me to accomplish. But that is where God is calling me, and I can either proceed anxiously or I can set out resolutely... with confidence.

And that is how I choose to go forward... resolutely; knowing that with each challenge (and each failure) I experience.... growth.